Ask Away...: On/Off Relationships

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

On/Off Relationships

Either you know someone who has been in one, or you are in one yourself.  On/Off Relationships are those relationships that seem to be up and down every other day.  You break up, get back together, break up, and then get back together.  But why do people do this?  Can we really not make up or minds?  Or do we just like the excitement?

When they can be okay...
Sometimes, two people are really serious about each other but they have some issues.  They take time apart in order to work on those issues, and then eventually get back together.  Sure, some people can work on things without breaking up, but a lot of people NEED  to have something missing from their life, in order for them to work at getting it back. 

When they aren't okay...
When your friends start telling you that they no longer want to hear about it, or when they know that you will be back with So and So in a matter of days, you know your behavior is getting out of control..make up your mind.  Stay with him and work through everything, or hti the road and move on.

A lot of times people are too used to something and can't imagine life without it.  So it's hard to make that final decision where you permanently walk away from someone.  If that sounds like you then just try and make your final decision and stick to it.  Don't get in the habit of forming on/off relationships because honestly, it's a hard habit to break, and you'll end up doing it again and again even if it's with a different partner!

How can you prevent your relationship from being like this?
In the beginning, discuss it and make an agreement with your partner that you will always work through stuff, and if you can't you can go your separate ways, but it won't be acceptable to throw around the terms "It's over" and "We're back on" like they aren't anything.

Do you know someone in an on/off relationship?  How do you deal with it?

And remember, if you have any relationship advice that you are in need of feel free to fill out this form!  You can remain anonymous and be as vague or specific as you want!

3 comments:

  1. I agree that working through things in a relationship is key. And the statements you listed definitely shouldn't be used flippanty (it's over/we're back on). People in a relationship need to care about each others' feelings. When we learn to focus on the other, not ourselves, I believe much good will come. :)

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  2. I am in a relationship right now. We have broken up and gotten back together once and we have both promised each other that if we break up again, we need to go our separate ways. We are currently on a break so we can figure out what we both need and want because we don't want to be known as the couple who go back and forth all the time. It's a promise made when we got back together and now that we are on the rocks again, it's a hard promise to keep. I love him more then anything and I want to work things out but there is a reason our relationship isn't easy. But at the same time we are drawn to each other and a reason why we keep coming back to each other.

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  3. Great post we all know people like that.

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