The idea of a divorce in your family is always going to be a frightening and difficult subject. Let’s face it, no matter which way you slice it, you are splitting the family apart when you get divorced. But splitting doesn’t have to break your family into little pieces. A divorce doesn’t have to be the disaster that most people think it is. After all, you have to remember that forty-five percent of marriages end in divorce these days. They aren’t all catastrophic wrecks with children who aren’t developing and parents who aren’t coping. You can, as difficult as it may be to believe, be stronger after a divorce. This is certainly true if the relationship between the mother and the father has become toxic. Let’s look at some of the misconceptions about divorce and try to understand what it really means for you and your family.
Best To Stay Together For The Kids
No, it isn’t. There are multiple times when it’s not going to be best to pull your family together just because you have children. First, your kids will eventually realize that you are faking it in your relationship. They will start to understand that you have no love left in the relationship, and not only that, they’ll begin to copy those emotions. So, you’ll have a very hostile home where everyone could be arguing with one another. One of the main reasons people think it’s best to stay together for the kids is because they believe divorce damages development. However, research shows this isn’t true at all. In fact, many children who go through a divorce don’t see any effect to their development at all. It depends on how it’s handled.
On top of this, you must understand that the issues causing developmental problems through a divorce will be present in a family where you are forcing yourself to stay together. It’s the arguments, the confrontations and the distrust that is going to negatively impact your kids.
Bringing A Lawyer Makes Things More Difficult
It doesn’t have to, and despite the fun stereotype, not all lawyers are money hungry fiends, particularly during a divorce. In fact, if you have a family lawyer you can trust, they can become your emotional support through the whole proceeding. It is particularly important to have this if the divorce is not going to amicable. You will need someone on your side who can help you keep the kids out of it.
Kids Are Happier With Two Parents
This isn’t true either, and if you want to proof, a recent poll revealed over eighty percent of children wouldn’t want their parents to stay together for them. They would rather their parents split, took a divorce and were happier apart. Now at this point, you might ask whether kids really know what they want or understand the ramifications of a separation. But you have to remember that divorce isn’t some weird occurrence to your kids, particularly older ones. They will have friends with divorced parents, and it is constantly referenced in the media. So, you might be surprised by how accepting they actually are.
As you can see then, there’s a lot of confusion around the true impact of divorce. You might not want to dismiss the possibility so quickly.