Ask Away...: 5 Tips For Creating A Stable Life

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

5 Tips For Creating A Stable Life

If you’re reading this article, there’s a strong chance that you or someone you care about is having a challenging time.  The topic of creating a stable life, isn’t probably the most fun and sexy blog post you’ll ever read - but having a stable life is essential to your happiness and fulfilment.  It seems natural to presume that we should somehow have a ‘stable life’ by default, and we don’t then, perhaps something must be wrong with us.  The truth is, that creating a stable life is a skill.  It’s a recipe, much like baking a cake, and if you weren’t properly taught how to bake this particular cake at an early age there’s a chance you’ll have been bouncing around various life hacks trying to stabilise your life.

This article draws on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to offer five tips on creating a more stable emotional life.

Having a stable sense of home is imperative.  This doesn’t have to be a fancy lakeside property like those offered by SweetGrass, it can be a room in a shared house, or even a trailer as long as you feel respected, independent and at peace.  This should be your “safe place” that you feel comfortable and grounded in.  The well known saying “tidy house tidy mind” is true when it comes to creating stability.  If you have a clean, tidy, and well organised mind this has a significant effect on your emotional health and wellbeing.

You don’t need to be rich in order to be stable.  You do, however have to have an income.  Whether this is a full-time job, a part-time job, or even welfare benefits - there needs to be a secure and reliable income that comes from a secure and non-emotionally dependent source; meaning nobody has undue influence and control over your financial stability.  Whilst it might be easy to receive money from your family or partner, it is inherently unstable, as the relationship has an unhealthy balance of power - meaning you have to keep in their “good books” because you are financially dependent on them.

Your health is your foundation.  You can have all the money in the world, a beautiful home, and great relationships - but without your health, life has a tendency to feel very unstable.  The term “prevention is better than cure” is true when it comes to having stability, as when you know you are keeping on top of looking after yourself, you feel more positive and stable about the future.

No man is an island” and when it comes to finding stability, a supportive network of caring friends is fundamental.  However, sometimes, it can be the people in our life that cause our instability.  It’s important to consider your relationships carefully and work out which relationships add to your sense of stability and which relationships destabilise you.

The thoughts that you think create the feelings you feel, and at times, it can feel like you aren’t in control of your emotions but you decide where to focus your attention, and as the popular saying states “where attention goes energy flows”.  This means that if you have a positive focus then you will attract more positive things whereas if you have a negative focus you will attract more negative circumstances.  Meditation, and in particular mindfulness are great tools to help calm and balance the mind.

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