Once again, I'm here to write about simplifying life and this time it involves friendships. Someone once said "I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies." I repeat that quote constantly when it comes to friendships. I have many friends but I have a core circle that I hold especially close and that doesn't mean it's a friend group where everyone has the same bond. My friends come from all different walks of life and some don't even know each other well. But having a small core group of friends has been so rewarding and this is why.
When you are surrounded by people it can be hard to know who to trust. We all deserve to vent about life and even about other people. But if you trust the wrong friends, you end up repeating things that can be spread around. This is why it's completely fine (and highly advisable) to put more energy into your core group of friends, no matter how small it may be.
A small circle of friends means you are only investing time and energy on those relationships versus trying to please everyone. We all live busy lives and it can be hard to make plans with friends, but if you focus more on keeping in touch with the extra special ones, it becomes less of a chore and more of a relief from the regular stresses of life.
A close friend doesn't have to be defined by how often you see the person or talk to them. It's more about what they mean to you and how they make you feel. Focus on the people that don't drain you. These are people you feel comfortable with and you know if you tell them something and specifically advise them not to repeat it, they won't!
Imagine how easy and free of drama your life can be with only the most trustworthy caring people surrounding you! This doesn't mean you should cut everyone else off. But don't try to spread yourself so thin trying to make everyone happy. Sometimes friendships fizzle out on their own and that's okay!
People that guilt you by saying you only reach out when you need to talk about something big are NOT worthy of being in your small circle. I always laugh when I hear people say that about someone. Isn't that what a friend is? It's low maintenance and you can go about your life but when things get tough and you need a support system, there they are!
My friends know that I'm a low maintenance friend. If we don't talk for 2 months because life got crazy for both of us, I actually scold them if they try to apologize for being out of touch. I remind them that I don't judge friendships in that way. And that my definition of being a good friend is being understanding forever. If we don't talk for a whole year it changes NOTHING about how much I care about them. And I've noticed I get that same energy back so that tells me I've done a great job curating my circle of friends.
If you struggle to think of the core group you should focus on, imagine that you're at super fancy dinner at an island resort and you are surrounded by the people that bring you the most joy. Who are those people? There are only so many seats at the table so you can't invite everyone. Then imagine that the worst thing in the world has happened to you and think of who you would call and who you would lean on for support. This should be the people you KNOW would drop everything to be there for you whether it means coming over in person or just checking in on you and letting you vent.
Life is beautiful and friends are crucial but focusing you energy on the special few that are treasures in your life is what is most rewarding at the end of each day.
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