There's something that needs to be addressed in everyone's life.  It's more of an ongoing thing beacuse it's always out there but the way we let it affect ourselves and our lives is crucial.   I'm talking about negativity. 

Negativity is an icky negative energy that comes out in a person's attitude, actions, words, or thoughts.  You may not think this post applies to you and maybe it doesn't...but maybe it does!   It's important to be self aware of how we come off to other people.  If you have a negative energy and you vent about something to someone, that negative energy can be absorbed by them (unless they are great at not letting it affect them).  

 There are many ways to be negative:

[ ] How you let things affect you - When you get cut off on traffic do you get over it in a minute or do you stew about it for an hour, and then tell your coworkers about how pissed off it made you?

[ ] How you talk to those around you - Are you constantly complaining or pointing out negative things?

[ ] How you respond to things around you - If someone is having a bad day, do you let it bother you personally? 

Negativity affects us on many levels - physically, mentally, and emotionally- and it shows it's ugly face in several ways:

[ ] Physically - people that hold on to negativity tend to have a cold look on their face, tend to get more wrinkles, and tend to be more tense.  They also can have an unhealthy weight or physical ailments because "everything just seems to go wrong" for them.

[ ] Emotionally - When a person is overcome with negative energy it's all they can do .  Think negative, speak negative, and feel negative. 

[ ] Mentally - When the brain is used to negative thoughts it becomes easier to think negatively instead of positively. 

So what can you do?  Well...

[ ] Don't let other people's "stuff" get you so worked up.  Who cares if you have a coworker that dresses funny.  Is it personally ruining your day? Well, it shouldn't be. 

[ ] Don't complain about every little thing in your life.  If you forgot to run an errand, gained a pound, or didn't sleep well you don't need to rehash it with a friend or coworker.  All it does is make them annoyed and it's kind of foolish. You never know what someone else is dealing with so ask yourself if your complaint is even worth saying out loud.  If it's not, let it go!

[ ] Take action. If you really can't stand something, fix it.  Address the issue with the person that bothers you, change your habits so you are on time instead of constantly late and in a rush.

 

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The 48-Hour Rule or How to Deal with Bitchy People

It’s truly amazing how negativity from others can exhaust you, isn’t it?   Negative energy just brings more negative energy so if you walk around bitching all day, you’re probably going to end up tripping, stubbing your toe, hitting a curb, or spilling your coffee because you’re just spraying out all those negative vibes!  Lately, it’s as if everyone around me is just stuck in a pessimistic, negative, grouchy rut!   If they aren’t constantly complaining on social media, they’re gossiping about strangers, or whining about everyday situations that ALL of us deal with.

Like really, get over yourself!   I have a lot going on in my own life… I work my ass off at 2 jobs, maintain a relationship, a home, pay bills, stay fit and healthy, and take care of 4 dogs…. Not that it makes me different than ANYONE else at any given moment… but do you hear my complaining about balancing shit out? NO!  And if you do, it’s usually something beyond my control…and I’m allowed to bitch about that… you know why?  

Well, let me introduce you to a little something I call the 48-Hour Rule…or… How to Deal with Bitchy People (without strangling them). 

The 48-Hour Rule basically works like this:

If you have something that you are miserable about and you feel the need to complain and whine about it, you have 48 hours to do so.   Once the 48 hour mark hits, you have 2 options depending on your situation. 

Option 1: If you are capable in any way of taking any sort of action to begin to resolve the situation, and you don’t take action within the first 48 hours, you no longer have a right to bitch about it.

Option 2: If the situation directly affects you and is TOTALLY beyond your control, you have the right to continue bitching, within reason.   (example: You can’t just complain about how much you hate the current president 24/7… face it, he’s in office, deal with it!)  

So how do you use the 48 Hour Rule? Here are some example scenarios:

Example 1: 

A coworker that spends way too much time on personal calls, office gossip, and bitching about..well everything,  comes to you and complains, "I can’t get any work done and I always have to skip my lunch! I hate my job!!!”

What you WISH you could say: “Well, maybe if you stopped talking on the phone all day, limited your socializing sessions, and learned to manage your time more efficiently, you’d find you can actually get stuff done!  And if you still hate your job… why aren’t you already updating your resume and looking at other job options?”

What you can say instead: “Well, I always tell everyone to refer to the 48 hour rule, if you can take action within 48 hours to make your situation better, do it!  And if you don’t take action after 48 hours, I don’t wanna hear about it, because it’s your own damn fault.”

Example 2: 

A girlfriend complains that the guy she’s seeing (who is known for being a crappy boyfriend)  is being shady and avoiding her and blows her off all the time.  

What you WISH you could say: “Well considering the fact that everyone in the area knows that Joe Schmo is a d-bag and is obsessed with himself, maybe you should take a hint and DUMP HIM! No one’s forcing you to stay with him, DUH!”

What you can say instead: “Use the 48-Hour Rule… if over the next 48 hours you don’t me an attempt to fix the situation by getting out of it or discussing it with him to resolve it, then you are basically choosing to be miserable so you can’t complain any longer because no one else can help you but yourself.”

Most people create their own misery by constantly obsessing over it, talking about it, and being miserable about it.   If they would just be productive for one minute, they would already be on a better path…. But until then, we can at least educate them about the 48-hour rule in an effort to push them towards taking action.  

And if you are someone who complains about problems that you can easily fix, then try enforcing the 48-hour rule in your own life before you verbalize any complaint to another person.

So..... think of what you complained about today....

Is there any thing you can change in 48 hours?