15 Awkward Moments that Happen to EVERYONE [Admit It]

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

I'm a firm believer in the statement of life being way too short to take it all seriously.  That being said, sometimes there's stuff that happens that can be so embarrassing you want to cry or scream or maybe even both.  So to help make light of all those embarrassing moments,, I present to you....15 awkward moments that happen to everybody at some point in their life. 

[1] Rolling Your Ankle or Almost Doing It
You're walking down the hall at work in your everyday heels, or maybe you're even walking down the street in your favorite wedges and all of a sudden it happens... that damn awkward roll where you nearly go crashing to the ground as your ankle gives out under you.  Maybe that's not even what actually happens but that's what it seems like happens so we'll just stick with that.  I don't know about you but my first instinct is to just keep looking forward and walking like it didn't happen. And for the next 10 seconds I pray that no one was behind me.  And it's just as bad when you ALMOST do it and catch yourself just in time but still have a mini-heart attack. 

[2] Saying Hi to Someone that Doesn't Reciprocate
Okay, so you're in a hallway or on a sidewalk coming straight towards someone else, and even though you don't know them you know it's common courtesy to say hello.  So there you go... "Hi".  And NOTHING.   In fact, they even stare right past you. Whatever, right? Nah, for the next minute you sit there stewing like "WHAT THE HELL WHY AM I SO NICE!??!?  AM I UNLIKED AROUND HERE??" 

[3] Waving at Someone That's NOT Waving at You
You're sitting in the food court at the mall, and you look over and see someone waving at you.  They keep waving at you. You squint but don't recognize them.  Then you squint again and confirm that they are indeed looking right at you.   So you wave back.   Then you suddenly look behind you and see someone standing and waving back at them.  You realize they weren't waving at you. So what do you do?  UGH!

[4] Farting When You THINK You're Alone
Maybe you're on a walk, and you don't notice the guy on his porch, or you're in a store where you swear no one is in the next aisle. Maybe you even let one squeeze out at your desk.  "PFFFT"
And then of course you notice someone nearby and you race to get away, praying they don't realize it's you.   And if it smells as someone walks towards you, good luck with that one buddy. 

[5] Farting When You KNOW You're Not Alone
It seems to always happen at work, you get up from your desk to go pee, not realizing how gassy you are until you sit down and a surprise fart comes out.  Of course it's right after Joann from the cube next to yours is washing her hands and says hi to you as you go in. "Damnit now she KNOWS that was me". Even though everyone farts, we still seem to struggle with not feeling embarrassed about it. 

[6] Choke Coughing/Talking
I don't even know what the scientific name is for this but I'm sure there is one.... you'll be talking to someone and mid conversation you suddenly cough/hiccup/choke on a combination of spit and air.   You try to keep going but you feel soooo red in your face. What the HELL WAS THAT?!?!?! 

[7] The Nighttime Body Jerk
Nothing is worse than the body jerk that happens seemingly every night as you drift off to sleep.   Sometimes you have a weird dream as you are falling asleep that you are running and then trip, and then there goes the jerk.  I don't care who you are, you gotta admit it you always get a shot to the heart of anxiety and embarrassment before you realize "who gives a shit what my partner thinks, I'm tired, goodnight!"

[8] The Accidental Text
Okay, even if it was when you were a teenager, you gotta admit that this has happened to you. Either it's some juicy gossip you text to the wrong person...like the person the gossip is about... or you accidentally text your crush a racy compliment that you meant to say ABOUT HIM not TO HIM!!!!   Who cares about how you recovered...it still frickin sucks!

[9] Choking On Your Food
Choking on your food for the split second when you think you may die, and then realizing, you can easily swallow the spaghetti noodle is like that mini freakout in your head that no one else even notices but you feel traumatized about.   It's the sole reason I avoid eating mozzarella sticks in public.

[10] Holding Your Poop
Don't act like you haven't! I don't care if it was after a one night stand at a guys house where you're trying to pee without pooping because you know he'll hear, or if it's at a party where you know there's a line outside.  It's the worst. How can anyone live like that? How can you even be comfortable that way. You can't even sit right in your seat! Then you start thinking of legit excuses. " Umm I have to go buy cigarettes from the store even though I don't smoke..." or "Oh I forgot to let my dog out".   Just so you can go home and sh*t! 

[11] The Office Coughing Fit
Why are we so embarrassed to have coughing fits at work? Is it because we hate everyone asking if we are okay? Or because they assume we are contagious?  You know what I'm talking about too.  You rush to the hallway or the bathroom and unleash your coughing fit but on the way down you were nearly holding your breathe before you burst into coughs.  Then you consider going home early just so you can frickin cough!

[12] The Awkward Selfie
Okay, who cares... a selfie near the lead singer of the concert you're at is totally cool...so why the hell do you feel so awkward when you are taking it.  It's like you know everyone's judging you as they watch. Even if they just took one themselves.  For some reason, selfies in a public place will always make us feel awkward, even if just for a second. 

[13] The Dreadful Decline
Whether you have a legit excuse or not, nothing is worse than "I'm sorry it's saying your card is declined."   I always enjoy the excuses we give.  Oh, whoops, wrong card.... or maybe Oh whoops, I forgot to transfer money to that account (yeah, okay), either way the embarrassment is almost enough to make you about face and run out of the store without your impulse buy.

[14] Holding Up the Line
Okay, so you're at the grocery store and it's packed and you're up and they're scanning your goods and then it happens....one of your items has no sticker. They ask if you remember the price.  Of course your mind races as you think of prices but secretly assume they are judging you and thinking you're lying to try and beat the system.  Someone has to go and look at the price so you stand there waiting.... or maybe you need stamps or the register won't read a coupon right and you're waiting for the manager on duty to get to the cashier calling for help. You feel hot and burny.  You refuse to turn around because you just KNOW everyone's glaring at you.  It's like THE worst anxiety in the world. Just get me outta here!!!!!!!!!

[15]Eating Sushi on A First Date
Why are we so paranoid of how we chew when we sit across from the opposite sex on a first date?  I guess really it's just sushi being so big that it's like okay, is it acceptable for me to just shove this piece in my mouth? I mean you don't take bites of sushi right? RIGHT?! Maybe I've been doing it all wrong this whole time! 

So come on.... can't you admit that you have experienced at least like 5 of these? 

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