We all have days (and weeks or months) where everything just seems to go wrong. Things break, your finances get messed up, your mood is completely shot, and you may have a lot of stress and anxiety about your job or home life. It can at times see impossible to keep our head up, but I promise you that it’s something you can work on. I have always been told that I have such a positive attitude even when my life seems to be in shambles and it got me thinking, what do I do to keep positive when it feels like the world’s against me. I decided I’d share what I do to stay positive and keep going when times are tough and it seems impossible.

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These Are A Few Of My Favorite Positive Things (For Spring)

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It's finally staying light out for longer, it's warming up, and the birds are always outside chirping.   In an effort to be positive and spread the good vibes I wanted to highlight 3 of my favorite things right now!

 

 

1 | Alex and Ani Bracelets
I seriously love Alex and Ani.  I'm sure you've heard all the buzz that these bracelets have positive energy infused in them.  Well, they do.  And tons of people I know that wear them say they seem to have great luck and are able to stay upbeat even in the worst of times.  Even if it's just a mindset from putting the bracelets on, that works for me!

Each Alex and Ani product is infused with positive energy.  They embrace the power of positive energy as their core company belief.  The ensure that the products themselves are manufactured with positive intention in American factories that they select very carefully.   The symbols featured in their designs also carry their own energy and special meaning.   And each design is intended to empower the wearer and reflect the unique qualities of that individual.  There are some pieces with sentimental meaning and others with protective talismans.  I love the fact that you can mix and match the different bracelets as well.  This one is the Turn Up Peace bangle.  This symbolizes the small  actions that can be taken toward bettering humanity.   This charm represents standing up for kindness and liberating the world from negativity! Whenever I put it on in the morning I take a few moments to reflect on how I want my day to go and how I plan to notice all the beautiful things about the day.

 



2 | Walking the Dogs on a Pleash

 

Yes, you heard that right, a Pleash. The reason I love the Pleash is because it has plenty of room for me to keep a few treats, a key, my phone, and a doggie bag.  It's made of nylon webbing and has a little carabiner to fasten keys or a small flashlight too.  In the Summer I'm going to attach a collapsible bowl to it.  The cinch cord attached to the carabiner gives me hands-free transport of waste! AMEN to that!   This zipper pouch is water resistant and it's the perfect size to hold my iPhone. 

 

 

 

 

3 | Playing with the Kitties

My mom has 2 cats and lately I've been spoiling them with treats. These Nature's Variety Instinct Raw Boost Minis in Rabbit Formula are perfect for cats because they are meat eaters by nature.  So they love the taste of these freeze-dried treats.  They have the benefits of all-natural pure raw ingredients made with REAL rabbit and without the grain or gluten.  There are just 2 calories per piece and NO corn, wheat, or soy.  And I love that there are no meat by-products or artificial colors or flavors.  My cats loved these as a treat here and there but I also put a few on top of their regular food which enticed them to be less finicky!

 

 

 

So what are you loving lately?

 

 

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5 Ways Negativity Pushes People Away

 

Whether it’s a relationship or a friendship, the people close to you are greatly affected by your negativity.   “But I’m not negative”!    Maybe you aren’t  and if that’s the case then good job and thank you for being what the world needs more of! But maybe you don’t realize you ARE negative, for example:

 

Responding with a “downer” response when asked how you are doing i.e. “I’ve been better” or “I’m alright… I guess”.

or

Complaining about common aches and pains ALL THE TIME.  These are things that other people have as well like sore muscles, a minor headache, or being tired.

 
Those are just a couple of minor ways that people spread negativity.

 Imagine negativity as an arrow, and you are the bow.   The people you come across on a daily basis are moving targets.   And the people that are intimately involved in your life through a relationship or close friendship are moving targets at close range. 

 Now, what happens when you shoot an arrow at a moving target?  They try to get away because it hurts.   If being hit by an arrow is unpleasant, why would they willingly continue to subject themselves to that pain?  Perhaps that’s a great explanation for why people distance themselves from you. 

When you come across these targets at any given moment, you have the choice to shoot a negative OR a positive arrow at them.  

While some people say that being nice to others in order to make them feel good isn’t a good enough reason, it actually benefits YOU because you won’t cause people to avoid you.   Your relationships will thrive and your friendships will too.  People will WANT to be around you and include you in on things. 

 

In case you STILL aren’t convinced as to why you should stop shooting negative arrows from your bow, here are 5 ways that negativity pushes people away from you.

 

1. Being negative drags other people down.

When someone asks you how you are doing and you respond with a negative answer or even a so-so answer (Alright, Okay, I’m alive), they immediately feel deflated.  It’s a natural response to a negative energy wave.  Even if it only lasts a few seconds, it’s still an unpleasant feeling so in order to prevent it, the person will start avoiding even small conversations with you. 

How to Reverse This:

Bring people up by responding with a positive answer (Great, Good, Just Fine)! If you don’t see why you should respond that way well here is one good reason that you are doing great… You’re Alive!
  

2.It makes others feel guilty.

If you complain about your trivial everyday issues to someone ALL THE TIME, it can make them feel guilty that they are having such a great day or that they are being more positive.  And no one wants to feel guilty, so to avoid feeling that way, they’ll avoid you.  Why should they have to squash their joy just because you are such a downer?  
 

How to Reverse This:

See above!

3. It can add stress to their life.

Trust me, as someone who gives advice on a regular basis, I know that there is a fine line between letting someone vent and letting someone drag me down with negativity.  I have taught myself how to let things go so that when I give people advice I just address the issue but I don’t let it weigh down on me.   However in my real life and personal life, I can attest to the fact that I am more stressed when I am surrounded by negativity.  If you love those around you, stop stressing them out.  

 How to Reverse This:

Think before you speak.  Is it really necessary to complain about something?   Will the negative thought in your head matter in 2 years or even in a week? Then relax and just let it go.  Tell yourself it’s no big deal and that it’s not worth stressing your loved ones out by complaining about something so minute.

 4. It makes people feel helpless.

When you complain about issues that you (or they) have no control over, on a repeated basis, it makes the people close to you feel helpless.  No one likes to feel helpless especially after they try numerous times to tell you to be positive, cheer up, or how to fix your issues.   So in an effort to feel better they’ll distance themselves from you. 

 How to Reverse This:

If it can’t be remedied (You don’t like the new person they hired) because you have no direct control over the situation, try to reword how you want to complain.  Instead of saying that you can’t stand the new girl and she makes you angry (This makes the person you’re talking to instinctively wonder how they can help you feel better), simply make a comment that you noticed they hired a new girl and you’re interested to see how it pans out.  There’s no HELP ME undertone to a comment like that.

 5. It takes an emotional toll on them.

It’s emotionally draining to be around negativity.  Have you ever turned off the news because after 10 depressing headline stories, you just couldn’t take it anymore?   That’s EXACTLY how it feels to be around a negative person or a downer.  Sometimes, it can even take a physical and mental toll on people when they are so upset or brought down that they weaken their immune system or their mental state of mind. 

This is EXTREMELY common in relationships… one partner has to soak up the others negativity and it brings them down to a point where they have to get away from the other person in order to make themselves happy. 

 

How to Reverse This:

First ask yourself if YOU would want to be in a relationship with yourself?  Are you grumpy and miserable or a pessimist in even the best situations?   Well, stop.. because if you don’t want to be around yourself, no one else does.   Refer to all of the above to stop!

 

Okay so now you’re probably asking how you are supposed to deal with your bad days, complaints, and everyday issues.  Well, you can use the 48 hour rule – where if it’s something you have control over  and can change in 48 hours you NEED to take action or else you can’t bitch about it.  Or you can limit yourself to one or two times a week where you can vent your frustrations out to someone.  Don’t make it a habit of doing it every day even if it’s just a negative response when asked how you are doing, because it will certainly bring those people down.

 And before you ask “Then who can I vent to or who do I talk to about my problems?” I’ll tell you either see a therapist, OR ask yourself if your problems are even real problems or if you are just pessimistically creating them out of regular situations.

 

5 Things in Life That Are Hard Work But Worth It

Ever notice how whenever something is described as being hard work people think of it as a negative thing?

Relationships are hard work. 
A good paying job is hard work.
Quitting a bad habit is hard work.
Losing weight is hard work.

Hard work can be broken down as easily as this:
Hard - difficult or challenging
Work - something the requires effort or persistance

And what happens when you do something that's hard work and you work hard at it?  You accomplish things.

Stop thinking that hard work is a bad thing.  

and

Start thinking that hard work = SO WORTH IT!

 

It's funny because everything that we know as taking a lot of work, being hard work, or being hard at all has one great benefit to it.... IT'S ALWAYS WORTH IT IN THE END!

Hard work at anything makes you better yourself as a person and better your life overall.

Here are 5 examples of how that's true.

1. Relationships are hard work.
Yep, they are.   Are they worth it? Yes.   Just because a relationship is hard work doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Everything in life is hard work, DUH!

You know what's not hard work? Sitting still doing nothing and being lazy.   It's easy, but is it good for you? Not so much.

Relationships are hard work because you must:
-learn to interact with another person
-accept things
-sacrifice things,
-think of someone other than yourself in an endearing way

Relationships are worth the hard work because: 
-they make you happy
-they make others happy

2. A good job is hard work.
It's hard to get it, it's hard to keep it, and it's hard to enjoy it sometimes.   Or you can sit at home at your parent's broke as hell with nothing making you happy.   

A good job is hard work because it makes you: 
-test your abilities
-utilize skills
-learn new things
-gain experience 

A good job is worth the hard work because:
-you make an income from it
-you make new connections and interact with people
-you feel a sense of accomplishment about yourself

3. Quitting a bad habit is hard work.
Of course you are used to things that you do on a regular basis and they make you feel comfortable, whether they are good or bad. 

Quitting a bad habit is hard work because it makes you:
-get out of your comfort zone
-discipline yourself
-going through periods of unpleasant feelings

Quitting a bad habit is worth the hard work because:
-you have health and well being benefits
-you get a sense of accomplishment
-you learn self discipline
-you feel better

4. Being healthy is hard work.
Anything worth doing will never be super easy. 

Being healthy is hard work because it makes you:
-stay disciplined
-adopt new habits
-be uncomfortable at times
-change your lifestyle
-maintain your lifestyle

Being healthy is worth the hard work because:
-you have a better quality of life
-you learn discipline
-you feel a sense of accomplishment

5. Dealing with a problem is hard work.
Someone dies and you have to grieve.   You need to be honest with someone about how you feel about your relationship.   There are so many different examples of "problems". 

Our society has a way of just sweeping them under the rug because it's easier than dealing with it up front.

Dealing with a problem is hard work because it makes you:
-face a fear or unpleasant reality
-feel resistance from another party
-accept the situation for what it is

Dealing with a problem is worth the hard work because it makes you:
-resolve or bring closure to an issue
-happier in the long run
 

In summary...

Embrace the phrase "Life is hard work", "Relationships are hard work", etc. by remembering that anything that takes hard work is WORTH the investment!

 

3 Steps to Adopting Positivity as a Habit

We have all heard that it can take at least 30 days to make somethinga  habit.   In fact I was inspired by an article over at Tiny Buddha about 3 Keys to Being Happy to write more abougt how being positive and happy can become a habit.

It seems many of us have a bad habit of being negative, pessimistic, or overly dramatic about a variety of situations in our everyday life. 

Okay, so stop being so negative.   That's the problem.  You can't just stop doing something (like a bad habit) because it creates a void.   Instead you have to replace it with something else. 

We stop smoking cigarettes and replace it with a piece of gum.

We do jumping jacks whenever we start giving in to our snack food craving.

So the key to becoming more positive is to replace a negative thought with a positive one.  Of course that will be challenging at first, but since it takes 30 or more days for something to become a habit, you have plenty of time to condition yourself. 

I put together 3 steps to help replace your bad habit of negativity with a good habit of positivity.  If you practice these consciously for the next 30 days you will come back here and be able to leave a comment telling me how easy it is now that you've made it a habit from practicing so often! 

Step 1:  Every morning write down 3 things you are grateful for.

You can do this on paper, on your computer, or on your phone.  They can be big things or small ones, silly or important, specific or vague.

For example:
1. Your best friend (for letting you cry on the phone to her last night)
2. Your job (it's paying your bills)
3.Your car (it get's you to work so you can keep your job)

Whatever they are, choose 3 things each day that you can think of with gratitude.   Even if it's the same thing each day, there's nothing wrong with being grateful for a job every single day.

Feeling stuck?  
Then take your negatives and transform them into something to be grateful for.

"My car takes forever to heat up" becomes "I'm grateful for a car that starts so I can get around"

"I'm so tired today" becomes "I'm grateful to be able to wake up in the morning and be alive"

 How This Conditions You:
 Don’t you see already?

1. You’re taking things you normally only thought about in a negative way and you're pointing out the best in them.    You don't really go out to your car every morning and exclaim how much you absolutely love it now do you? In fact you probably only bring your car up when you are complaining about the fuel efficiency or a funny sound it's making.

2. You are becoming aware of what's around you and how you perceive it.  You are also becoming aware of how you allow it to make you feel.

Step 2: Say positive to yourself OUT LOUD each morning.

Once again it can be big or small, silly or important, specific or vague.

"I love my eyebrows"
"I have a great sense of style"
"I did a great job on my workout this morning!"

Feeling stuck?
What do you normally complain about? Your hard to tame hair? Your sore muscles?

Think of the positive once again.

“My hair is so frizzy” becomes “I have such nice  I have a nice thick head of hair”

How This Conditions You:

1. You start to focus on what you have going for you. You start to give yourself more love and attention.

2. This is essential for a healthier state of mind.  No matter how many outside influencers give you compliments, you can't have a healthy confident mindset until YOU learn to identify and compliment YOURSELF.  

Step 3: Start accepting what you cant control. 

 You’re in line at the grocery store and the cashier is moving as quick as molasses. 

Sure, you may have been able to control that by picking a different line BUT how were you to know that the cashier would be this way?  

And, you can't go back and reverse it because it's in the past so you have to STOP, breathe, and let it go. 

Feeling Stuck?

When you start to get angry over something, ask yourself if you can fix the issue at hand.  If you can, do it.  If you are sick of being tired in the morning, go to bed earlier each night. 

If you can't do anything to fix it because it's beyond your control, take a deep breathe and imagine yourself pushing the issue physically away because it can not be resolved.

ACCEPTANCE

It's a beautiful thang!

So what benefit will come from doing all of these steps?  Well...

When you go to complain about the "stupid" traffic jam making you late during your commute you'll realize:

1. You're lucky to even have a job that you can go to today.

2. You can't help that the accident happened, but next time you can leave a bit earlier. 

3. You'll breathe and let it go.

4. You'll identify the good that can come from the bad.  You now have some extra time to go over your notes for the meeting you have this afternoon. 

When you are upset because you have a cold and it's making your day at work SO EXHAUSTING you'll realize:

1. You're lucky that you were blessed with life and still woke up today.
2. You can't help that you caught a cold but in the future you can make sure you take your vitamins and get more rest. 
3. You will see the brightside.  You now have a great excuse to cancel your extracurricular activities and veg out on the couch!


What do you think the biggest challenge to this process will be?