Whether it’s a relationship or a friendship, the people close to you
are greatly affected by your negativity.
“But I’m not negative”! Maybe
you aren’t and if that’s the case then
good job and thank you for being what the world needs more of! But maybe you
don’t realize you ARE negative, for example:
Responding with a “downer” response when asked how you are doing i.e.
“I’ve been better” or “I’m alright… I guess”.
or
Complaining about common aches and pains ALL THE TIME. These are things that other people have as
well like sore muscles, a minor headache, or being tired.
Those are just a couple of minor ways that people spread negativity.
When you come across these targets at any given moment, you have the
choice to shoot a negative OR a positive arrow at them.
While some people say that being nice to others in order to make them
feel good isn’t a good enough reason, it actually benefits YOU because you
won’t cause people to avoid you. Your
relationships will thrive and your friendships will too. People will WANT to be around you and include
you in on things.
In case you STILL aren’t convinced as to why you should stop shooting
negative arrows from your bow, here are 5 ways that negativity pushes people
away from you.
1. Being negative drags other people down.
When someone asks you how you are doing and you respond with a negative
answer or even a so-so answer (Alright, Okay, I’m alive), they immediately
feel deflated. It’s a natural response
to a negative energy wave. Even if it
only lasts a few seconds, it’s still an unpleasant feeling so in order to
prevent it, the person will start avoiding even small conversations with
you.
How to Reverse This:
Bring people up by responding with a positive answer (Great, Good, Just
Fine)! If you don’t see why you should respond that way well here is one good
reason that you are doing great… You’re Alive!
2.It makes others feel guilty.
If you complain about your trivial everyday issues to someone ALL THE
TIME, it can make them feel guilty that they are having such a great day or
that they are being more positive. And
no one wants to feel guilty, so to avoid feeling that way, they’ll avoid you. Why should they have to squash their joy just
because you are such a downer?
How to Reverse This:
See above!
3. It can add stress to their life.
Trust me, as someone who gives advice on a regular basis, I know that
there is a fine line between letting someone vent and letting someone drag me down with
negativity. I have taught myself how to
let things go so that when I give people advice I just address the issue but I
don’t let it weigh down on me. However
in my real life and personal life, I can attest to the fact that I am more
stressed when I am surrounded by negativity.
If you love those around you, stop stressing them out.
This is EXTREMELY common in relationships… one partner has to soak up
the others negativity and it brings them down to a point where they have to get
away from the other person in order to make themselves happy.
How to Reverse This:
First ask yourself if YOU would want to be in a relationship with
yourself? Are you grumpy and miserable
or a pessimist in even the best situations?
Well, stop.. because if you don’t want to be around yourself, no one
else does. Refer to all of the above to
stop!
Okay so now you’re probably asking how you are supposed to deal with
your bad days, complaints, and everyday issues.
Well, you can use the 48
hour rule – where if it’s something you have control over and can change in 48 hours you NEED to take
action or else you can’t bitch about it.
Or you can limit yourself to one or two times a week where you can vent
your frustrations out to someone. Don’t
make it a habit of doing it every day even if it’s just a negative response
when asked how you are doing, because it will certainly bring those people
down.
I just want to thank you for this post! I have found myself being negative lately and it didn't really occur to me how it could be impacting my relationships/friends until I read this post. =)
ReplyDeleteso glad to have helped!
DeleteFantastic post!
ReplyDeleteThanks girl!
Delete