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Things You Get Excited About When You're Adulting

Thursday, June 8, 2017




Sometimes I sit around and think of random silly things that I know everyone can agree with and whenever I do that, I know it's time to make it into a blog post.


The inspiration behind this post was that I was sitting at home and thought of the small things that make me excited these days and I realized that 10 years ago those would be "lame" things to me.  That's how I know I'm adulting now. 


So without further ado, here's a list of things that can make you excited when you're a full blown adult!


1. Getting a cart at the grocery store that doesn't have squeaky jerky wheels.
2. When someone cancels plans and you end up having a free night to yourself.


3. Vacuum lines on the carpet.


4. When you actually can harvest and eat food from your own vegetable garden.


5. Canning.   Warning - this is an interest that usually comes from number 4 above.


6. Running an errand in an ugly outfit (no bra) without running into anyone you know.


7. Eating junk food without getting a stomach ache.


8. Finding jeans that fit and don't make you look like like an idiot.


9. A coupon (and a sale) on your heartburn medication.


10. Being able to stay up past 10 pm.


11. Sleeping an entire night without waking up to pee.


12. New curtains.


13. Buying your very first stand mixer.


14. Paying extra on your mortgage each month.


15. Getting a seat in a restaurant nowhere near crying babies.


16. Handing out candy on Halloween.


17. Earning cash back rewards on your credit card.


18. A check out line in ANY store with NO ONE in it.


19.  Meal planning.


20. Meeting up with a longtime friend for brunch or lunch.


21. Wineries. 


22. When someone else unloads the dishwasher.


23. Tucking yourself into bed with freshly washed sheets.


24. A new pillow.


25. Throw pillows.


26. Going to the library.


27. Sitting around reading your library books.


28. A tissue box hidden somewhere in your car.


29. Not having to cook dinner for a change.


30. Using a coupon at a restaurant or getting the early bird special.


31. Letting your dog out in the morning and not having to see another soul or utter a single word.


32. Home and garden type magazine subscriptions.


33. Coffee poops. (Hey, you know you're system's moving!)


34. Going to bed early.


35. Looking at New Year's Day as a day off work instead of a hangover nursing day.


36. The History Channel.


37. Purchasing new socks.


38. Wearing "granny panties" and not giving a *$&%.


39. Being in total control of the thermostat.


40. Remembering someone's name that you've only ever met once before.





So is there anything else to add?











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[20 SIGNS] That You're #ADULTING

Wednesday, December 16, 2015








I know I know... I've already been complaining about the fact that I started adulting overnight after I had a "crazy" weekend at the bar last month.  But now I --really-- know that I'm an adult because #adulting is a very real thing to me. 



 So I figured that I can't possibly be alone in this.  You guys are all growing up too right?    I'm 29 right now - but I feel 40!    


People always say
 "How do you know when you're finally a mature adult?"

Well I have 20 signs that you're adulting. 

 //1//When Netflix and chill literally means – Netflix and chill.  And you've completely lost the ability to watch one episode per night.  Now it's binge-city for days on end until you're all caught up!
//2//You fold yoga pants UP over your gut, instead of down. What a wonderful invention! Who would want to fold them down, when you can fold them up and make it look like you don't have a food baby on the way?!
//3// Driving at night sucks.  Everyone’s lights are too bright and you can barely read the signs.  Yep we are THAT GUY, driving slow and squinting as we try to find our turn.  Don't forget to get in the right lane when you realize the guy behind you's lights are too bright.
//4//You start buying handbags that are practical.   They have a big strap drop to fit over your puffy coat, they can hold all your stuff, and they are easy to get into.
//5//One drink and you’re tired. Two drinks and you’re asleep. Three drinks and you might just sh*t your pants!
//6//When wearing makeup becomes a process that is only done for a worthy occasion. A hot hot hot date,  a photo session, or an interview.
//7//New years Eve plans now consist of a nice dinner, a single drink, and you falling asleep before the ball even drops. What a party animal you are!
//8//Your coworkers no longer refer to you as the baby of the office.  You see now, there are actually people in the office younger than you!
//9//You have been at your job for 10 years or more. And retirement thoughts are actually becoming a thing.
//10//You no longer need to call off sick from work because you went to the bar on a weeknight.  You won’t even GO to a bar on a weeknight.
//11//When you start hosting holidays in your own home. Yep, I'm a big kid now!
//12//A mortgage payment exists in your finances. So is a water bill, electric bill, and you can't stop bitching about overpriced cable.
//13//You cry at movies.  Not only at sad movies, but happy ones.   Yup - tears of joy. What the hell!?
//14//You crack and grunt when you move.  Your body cracks when you stand up.  Oh and your knees ache if you try to sit cross legged on the floor. And you grunt when you bend over to pick something up or when you try to hoist yourself up off the floor.
//15//You don’t have the energy to argue with people anymore. Drama Free Zone forreal!
//16//You're not down with any lingo. You don’t know what things like Bae and Fleek mean… because it’s lingo used by people younger than you.
//17//You find yourself saying “When I was growing up…”.  Also, things were much better when you were a kid right?
//18//You actually have medical issues now. Your stomach acts up, you have an ingrown toenail, and your teeth are no longer issue free at the dentist’s office.
//19// Good Housekeeping, Rachel Ray, Redbook – these magazines rule!!!! Where were they all your life?!

//20//Friday and Saturday nights are exciting! Not becase you're going out but because you can just lay around all night in your PJs without setting foot in a bar.


At least we are all in this together right?  




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My Weekend [or] Why I Should Have Stayed Home + Adulted

Monday, November 16, 2015





Adulting...I love that word.  I've been doing {{a lot}} of it lately.  In fact, last week I had a realization that I am in fact an adult. You see, I asked James if he wanted to go out somewhere for a nice dinner date on New Year's Eve and then come home and relax.  Then I said it. 

"Unless you wanna go to a party or something."

We both cringed and scrunched our noses. 
 As I went back to cooking, I was like
OMG
AM
AN
ADULT.

I opted for an adult thing - you know you always see real adults going out to a nice dinner on New Year's Eve. Sometimes they come home and go to bed without staying up for midnight. 
 That. Is. Us. Woohoo!
---------------
So Friday I enjoyed a nice night at home with James and the dogs.  We watched TV and ate food. 
And we were in bed by 11. 

And I should have just stopped there.  
--But I Didn't.--

And I shouldn't be surprised because I knew about this for weeks.  On Saturday we had plans to go out with our friend like we do each year to celebrate his birthday.  It's usually dinner at Cafe Fresco and then we go to the club upstairs and drink in the VIP lounge.  
---------
So Saturday started great. I got some things done and lounged around.   
I reluctantly thought about our Saturday night plans and we even discussed the fact that we would just go to dinner, maybe have a drink or two, and then go home. 
 Because dinner wasn't even till 7:30 we knew we wouldn't even go to the club till 10-ish. 
What's funny is that 8 years ago when I first turned 21 I couldn't stand being at home. I was always so eager to get to the bar with my friends every Friday AND Saturday night.   I would get an icky feeling in the pit of my stomach if I even thought about staying in while everyone else was out. Damn you FOMO!
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
So as I got ready I had that same feeling in my stomach, but it was at the thought of going out.  
/////////////////
"I really don't even wanna go out so we are definitely coming home after dinner."

I kept saying it. 


We arrived to Cafe Fresco. It was dee--licious. 
///////////\\\\\\\\\\\

I ordered a *Vodka & Cranberry*, my usual. 

Then we tried a sushi appetizer which was deee-lish and for dinner I ordered Panko Encrusted Pork over Portabello Risotto. 

And I had another Vodka Cran. That's only two at this point.  
For the next 2 hours we all kept talking about how we dragged ourselves to come out because we are "OLD PEOPLE" now.  And we scoffed at the idea of waiting till 11pm to leave the house, like we used to do when we were newly legal.  

It was nearing our bedtime. For serious! 

We still had an hour to kill until the club opened up.  Level 2.. damn you and your late hours! 

So we headed to Brickhouse nextdoor. 


They have this amazing shot that only they make called a Lumberjack shot.   It tastes like pancakes apparently and you even get a slice of bacon with it. 

SAY NO MORE!

It was seriously delicious!

***********************************
Then I had one more Vodka Cran.  
{So what are we, up to 3 drinks and a shot now?}
Cool dude. It's all good. 
**************************************

Then we finally went to Level 2.  I had one drink.  Okay maybe it was 2 shots in one drink. Vodka Cran again.  Once 11:45 hit we were ready to go home.  I don't remember much after this.  I remember a few things. 

//Jimmy John's.   There was a Jimmy John's next door and I housed an 8 inch roast beef sub yo!  It was delicious. I only live five minutes from where we were, but by the time James got us in the garage at home, my sub was gone.   

//Mints.  I must have collected mints in the bathroom several times.  I remember my friends throwing some in my purse as well.  Regardless, I had a sh*tload spill out of my purse when I emptied it out. Oh well, at least my breath will smell amazing!  

//HEAT.  Of course it's because I was drunk. But I woke up like 5 times sweating so bad I thought I had peed myself.  It was just me, sweating out the alcohol.  What the hell Ellen, get it together!   

Luckily, I woke up without a hangover.   But what was my first thought...
"I'm never doing that again."
Good God.  

Adulting is much safer than I originally thought.  I think I'll stick to Netflix and Chill from now on when it comes to Saturday night plans.   And by Netflix and Chill I mean literally... Netflix and Chill!!!!

I hope your weekend was more adult than mine!    




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