Ask Away...: 40 Things That Get Me Fired Up

Thursday, April 21, 2016

40 Things That Get Me Fired Up


I have wanted to make a list of things I despise for quite some time now but I worried it would be "negative".   However, I realize now that it's funny and I hope you guys can relate.  


So without further ado...here is a list of things I despise.



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[1] When a gnat buzzes into my ear.  Not only does the sound make me want to start throwing sh*t around but then I'm paranoid that it's stuck in there laying eggs.


[2] Flies harassing me. Whenever I'm out somewhere and there happens to be 1 little fly around, he always harasses ME! It drives me nuts. I have been known to stop eating a meal and focus on swatting the little sh*t away while out at dinner.



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[3] Sneezing violently for no reason.  I'll be sitting there at work and all of a sudden three in a row of the most violent sneeze.  After I'm done I feel like I've been punched in the face and then I have to deal with using like 10 damn tissues to blow my nose.


[4] Sports bra padding that rolls into a clump.  It always happens with the sports bras that don't have a little slit to reach into.  I'll spend 5 minutes trying to flatten the stupid boobie pad until I finally give up and walk around with a clump sticking through my shirt. Come on now!



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[5] Phone calls in the middle of a show/movie. I'm always at the good part and all of a sudden my phone rings. F THAT! I hit ignore RIGHT away.  Then I think to myself "how dare they call me in the heat of the moment?" until I realize that they have no idea of knowing.  And if I answer and it's something trivial and petty - oh SNAP! It's on!



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[6] When someone asks me a question that they could have googled.  OMG this kills me.  If you have been having a weird cramp in your muscle, EFFIN GOOGLE IT! But no, of course they come up to me (knowing I'll google it anyways) and I say... well did you google it? And they say "no, not yet."  So I have to google it for them. Then I'm sitting there fuming.


[7] When a driver doesn't signal.  Did you know...there's a little device on the side of your steering wheel that makes a little flashing light come on to tell the rest of the world which way you are turning. USE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[8] When someone tells me they don't use public restrooms. Well good for you but you're not a real human then!!!  


[9] People that walk by my house and get my dogs all fired up.  When you see my dogs barking like heathens at the window, don't stand there and gawk for 2 minutes while your dog pretends to piss in my yard. MOVE IT ALONG! 


[10] People that run stop signs. STOP. ESS TEE OHH PEE! I guess living by a 4 way stop sign doesn't help me much on this.   



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[11] When people tell me their list of errands for the night. I don't care that you have to get groceries, go to Target, and look for wrapping paper for your nephew.  Seriously... boring! Why even bother telling anyone that. I didn't even ask!


[12] Vague marketing emails.  If your email makes no sense in laymen's terms and you're basically asking me if I want some sort of SEO services for my blog...Bye Felicia.   How the hell do you people even get my info?



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[13] Binge eating and feeling guilty about it.  I'll stuff my face with jelly beans and then sit around for 5 hours angry at myself. DAMNIT!!!! The temptation is just too strong!


[14] Peeing right after I leave home.  I just peed before this road trip and I already have to go again?? And then it's all in my head because when I do pee, I barely even go.


[15] When the shower temp won't get exactly where you want it to. Seriously, I can go the entire length of my shower and still not find the ideal temperature.



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[16] Shedding.  Am I normal? Is it acceptable to lose this much hair in a day?  What's that touching the back of my arm?!    Where is that hair!!??


[17] Flu shot drama.  I get flu shots.  That is that.  Don't lecutre me, don't question me.  Have a nice day.



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[18] When people use made up words.  You see they think these words are real but they aren't.  There's no such this as "irregardless" or "alls that you have to do".   GAHHHHHH!


[19] Bloggers that consider 4 sentences a blog post.  Unless you are specifically showing off photos of a room makeover, an outfit, or a vacation - put the damn time into your reviews and posts.   It's obvious when you're half assing stuff and that's why other bloggers and companies won't want to work with you.


[20] Direct sales.  I'm sorry but if I want something that smells good in my home, I'll buy the cheapest one I can at the store.   I just can't justify Scentsy, It Works, Thirty-One, and other similar items.  So no, I won't attend your party because to be quite honest it's a waste of time for me to go and have to sit there for no reason since I know I'm NOT purchasing anything. I'm sorry.  But I just can't and I won't.



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[21] When I make a meal that looks nothing like the picture in the recipe.  Nah, not even Instagram worthy.   So if I make a meal and eat it without sharing it on social media.... did I really even eat it?


[22] People on Facebook that share fake articles.  They don't even know it's fake and you can tell they didn't even read the article, they just see the headline and share it right away.  Haven't you ever heard of SATIRE people!?



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[23]  When people get angry that other people discuss shows on social media and "spoil it".  Okay, so if you can't watch an episode of a really big show, then stay the hell off social media.  Sorry, but the rest of the world isn't going to avoid social media just because so and so can't watch the episode.  Stay the hell off it until you watch.  And if you really can't stay off social media, then YOU have the real problem.


[24] When someone asks your opinion and then argues it.  Well you just asked my opinion on what I think is going to happen... so why are u trying to convince me that my opinions wrong, brah?



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[25] People that sit in the bathroom silently.  Dude, I know you're pooping. Just let 'er rip.  The worst is when it's a poop-mate aka you are both at a checkmate because you are both waiting for the other one to leave so you can do your business. Nobody wins. It's just downright awkward.


[26] Conspiracy theories. Get a grip. 


[27] A stranger's fart.  It's like the most disgusting thing ever and you feel like it's sticking to your skin. 



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[28] Awkward elevator rides. You know, the kind where no one talks but everyone's thinking about talking and a stupid cliche one liner to break the ice.


[29] Speaking of elevators - taking it for one floor.  Get your ass out and take the damn stairs!!!!


[30] Out of area numbers.  The second my phone rings it's like the world has stopped turning.  I freak out with a pit in my stomach for each ring.  And then I wait for a voicemail.  And then when there's no voicemail it's like OH MY GOD !! WHO COULD IT HAVE BEEN!??!?!?!?!?!?!  Did I win a sweepstakes? Oh my god, I should have answered!


[31] People that say "I'm very careful what I put on social media".  Okay, well guess what... if you are alive and breathing I can find out where you live on the internet so I think you got bigger things to worry about.



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[32] People that complain about their food at a restaurant.  Dude, enjoy your spit sandwich. 




[33] Teacup anything. Newsflash! There is NO such thing as a tea cup animal.  "Breeders" just use that term as a marketing thing to get you to buy and pay more for an animal because you think it will be super tiny.  If anything, a "teacup" is just a runt. 


[34] People that are willing to pay big bucks for a mixed breed dog. FYI - a Morkie is just a mutt. It's a maltese and a yorkie.  You basically just paid 2 grand for a mutt. Congratulations!


[35] When they talk sh*t on you at the nail salon.  What else do you think they are saying?!  How ruuuude!


[36] When I work with you and you email me and then call me to tell you that you emailed me.  Dude, give me a minute to read it. I can't read it when you're yapping on the phone. You sent it, and that's the point of email. I'll get it. RELAX!


[37] Interrupting me at my desk. Just because it's not a closed cubicle like everyone else's is, doesn't mean I'm not concentrating so when you come up 10 times a day to talk about random boring things - it's a big distraction.  Please limit yourself to twice a day, IF THAT!


[38] "Can you get this for me from your blog?" No. Just because I'm a blogger doesn't mean I get free sh*t for anyone and everyone.  I work hard to get where I am with my blog so no...if you want "free sh*t" then you can start your own blog.


[39] "It's so cold out." I know.   I just walked inside to work through it. DUH.


[40] When someone leaves an irrelevant comment on my blog. "Cool, check my blog out." Nope. Just nope.


So can you relate to ANY of these? Please tell me I'm not crazy! 




 


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8 comments:

  1. I also hate when the liner in sports bra's roll up

    http://www.amysfashionblog.com/blog-home/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ummmm.....I can relate to at least half of those!!! And 1&2? Yup, worst thing about the warm weather. The gnats and flies like to torture me, too!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. 6, 11, 16, 18, 21, 22, 27, 33, and 34... I laughed my ass off.

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  4. those were hilarious!! The poop one cracked me up! I really HATE when someone asks my opinion and argues too, drives me crazy! And...the people who watch my dog bark while their dog pees outside our window, right with ya! Now you have me worried about ANYTHING flying in my ear too! lol catchatwithcarenandcody

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL!!!!!! I am so glad you love this post :)

      Delete

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