Whether it's a work colleague, a significant other, or a close friend, knowing how to properly engage in conversation over a specific issue is imperative to getting it resolved. Here are 4 tips to remember in order to have a better conversation.
1. Start on a positive note.
The worst thing you can say is "We need to talk." It immediately makes people panic and think of the worst case scenario. Instead, try something like "Hey, I was wondering if we could talk about that little argument we had over the weekend." Make sure you point out that you want to have discussion and what it will be in regards to.
2. Be straight forward.
No beating around the bush. If you know what you want to say, say it. Don't hold your tongue because you will end up feeling dissatisfied. Write your main points down if it helps you remember them.
Listen to what the other person has to say when they are speaking. And by listen, I don't mean nod your head and cut them off. Sit quietly and absorb every word they say. Even if it doesn't make you feel any better, it will help them get stuff of their chest. Also, it's the respectful thing to do.
4. Don't use YOU or other accusatory terms.
Starting a sentence with the word YOU automatically makes the other person get defensive. Examples would be "YOU make me feel like crap" or "YOU always act grumpy in the morning." Instead start them off with "I feel". Examples would be "I feel sad after out latest argument" or "I feel like in the mornings your mood is a lot different."