Ask Away Blog: Friends Picking On Me...

Friends Picking On Me...

Friday, October 22, 2010

Ellen,
My question is about my friends.  My friends at school are being weird to me ever since I started talking to the boy who sits next to me in science.  He wears black clothing and spikes his hair in a mohawk.  My friends roll their eyes when he says hi to me in the halls.  Why are they doing this? And what should I do?
Thanks,
Jerica
Hi Jerica,
It’s very big of you to continue to be friendly with this boy even though it seems to bother your friends.  They must not be comfortable with something about him and they are probably jealous that you ARE, and that you can handle him while they can’t.  Some of the nicest people I know, looked very unique in high school, and I was always nice to them.  Years down the road, it always pays off, trust me on that one!  Next time your friends make some sort of face or comment, just ask them why it bothers them so much? If they say they don’t like him or he’s weird, or something along those lines, just say “Ok well I think he’s cool so if you can’t stop making rude faces at me I just won’t hang around with you anymore.  I don’t want people thinking I’m friends with other people that are so judgmental.”  You are going to get a lot further than your friends some day.  Be very proud of that!
Ellen

3 comments:

  1. Good advice Ellen.

    Do your friends realize that you don't mind talking to the boy? Do they think he's bothering you? Maybe they don't realize that you actually like talking to him.

    Let them know how you feel. Let them know you feel it's important to be nice to everyone no matter how they look. Ask them if you'd like them to introduce him to them.

    If they don't just tell them that you would like to continue being friends with them and with him and ask them not to make you feel uncomfortable.

    If you state it nicely enough they may see things your way.

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  2. When I was in high school (many, MANY years ago), I had a very good friend that none of my other friends liked and vice versa. I would spend time with both her and the others but at different times. After graduation and we were all on our own life paths one of the girls that didn't like my best friend said she admired the fact that I was always true to ALL my friends. Not everyone is going to like everyone you do, but it's important to be true to your own feelings.

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  3. Maybe something like, "Nobody's perfect and I don't judge people by their appearances. That's why I have all kinds of friends." If they hassle you, you could say, "Please don't put down my friends. I wouldn't let anyone put you down."

    You sound like a great friend!

    ReplyDelete

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