Ask Away Blog: Movin' On From A Broken Heart

Movin' On From A Broken Heart

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Hey Ellen,
I am 20 and just got out of a year long relationship.  I am bummin over this girl so much.  She said she wants to be on her own and she has a lot on her plate with a career and school and a part time job.  I know we can’t be back together again but how am I supposed to get over her and be happy again.  This literally just happened last week and all I’ve been doing is laying around, sleeping in a lot, and playing video games.  My guy friends are all in school out of state so I can’t just run to them and have guy time.  You seem to have good relationship advice mostly to girls so I hope you have some good advice for me, as a guy. Thank you!
Michael
Hi Michael,
I’m sorry this happened to you.  Take this time to just get to know you.  Get a hobby that involves you being out and about for it.  Take up a sport or a new activity.  Something that will keep you physically active and mentally consumed so you don’t have time to dwell on your break up.  I like to watch movies because it takes me away to a different place.  Maybe you can watch more movies and just enjoy your alone time. Go on walks, hikes, go to relaxing places. Learn to be alone with yourself and enjoy it. That way, you will never ever truly feel alone.
If you don’t have guy friends, you can still spend time with girls that you are friends with.  Or embrace any new friendships with guys you might meet while doing a sport.  Sports teams are a great way to meet new people that you obviously have something in common with.  I hope everything works out for you Michael!
Good luck,
Ellen

1 comment:

  1. Also remember that time will heal this wound heal. A year-long relationship feels very long to you at your age, but you are still young and will have more relationships. Each one will be different and some of them may be painful. But each one is an opportunity for you to learn about yourself and about women and relationships.

    I'd also suggest trying not to let yourself fall into a depression. Like Ellen said get a hobby or find a sport or new friends rather than just sit around isolating with video games. Video games don't help you learn to be social with real people in the real world (even ones where you're playing online and talking with others while you play. It's not the same.)

    Don't be too hard on yourself. Use what you learned this time to make it better next time. And there WILL be a next time.

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