Wedding Worries

Monday, October 25, 2010

Hello, I was wondering if you could weigh in on my little dilemma here.  I am setting stuff up for my wedding and before I ask my girlfriends to be in it, I need to decide how to choose the maid of honor. I have no sisters, and my fiancĂ© doesn’t have any either.  I have 2 extremely close girlfriends and 2 other girlfriends that I would like in it.  I am so nervous, because this is the first day I started to work on wedding planning after I got engaged last month.  I don’t want to have to choose between my two friends.  This is supposed to be such a happy thing but I am so scared Ellen!  Please help me.  Can I just not have a maid of honor? Is that wrong? How am I supposed to break this down to them and let them know what’s going on.  They all get along just fine and there have never been any dramatic situations over who is closer to me.  Thanks for any advice you can give me!

Congrats on your engagement!! You’re right; this is supposed to be a pleasant experience for you.  It’s very good that your friends have never been jealous or suspicious about each other. I think you should sit down or call your two best friends and tell them that you would rather not go with the traditional “title” of maid of honor, since all your girlfriends are so close to you.  See what they say.  If you are dead set though on having a maid of honor, when you contact each of your closest girlfriends, ask them what role they would love to be in your wedding.  You might get lucky and one might say she has too much going on right now to take on the maid of honor role.  If you decide not to have a “specific” maid of honor, then just do what I said above and tell them they are all special to you and you would rather just have them all be the same “role”.  I am sure they won’t mind.  A lot of people do things differently with weddings these days.  It’s certainly not wrong. It’s YOUR wedding, your special day, your decision. 
Best wishes,


  1. Wow....I had the same exact question!!! I haven't started planning yet, I'm not getting married till Spring 2013, but I'm going to come across this problem eventually as well. I think that is a great response, Ellen!!!

  2. You CAN have two maids of honor!! I had both a Maid and a Matron of honor (matrons are married) and no one thought a thing about it.

  3. Love Ellen's answer. It's your special day. You can make it any way you want it. Nowadays people do all sorts of creative things with weddings and wedding parties to make them their own. Brides wear tuxes, grooms wear dresses and their poodles walk them down the aisle. The important thing is you have it the way you want it and you create happy memories for yourself. Have fun!


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