We've all been there. Numerous times! Even if we are the one to break it off. Break ups make you feel bad no matter what and whether it's guilt, shame, remorse, abandonment, heartbreak...every feeling makes it harder to survive them. I'm living proof that life goes on after them, and so are most of you!
So...without further ado....I present to you...
the OFFICIAL Ask Away Guide to Surviving A Break Up in 5 "Easy" Steps.
And let's be honest....it's never easy, but if you keep telling yourself it is, it will get easier faster.
1. Separate Yourself
You need some time to decompress and separate yourself from the world in order to give yourself time to cope. So for some of us that means isolating ourselves because we can deal with it better alone. But for other's it means staying close to a friend for support. Make sure it's a friend who supports you but will ensure they hold you accountable for keeping the break up clean and not running back.
2. Hold Yourself (Or have a friend hold you) Accountable for NOT contacting them
Every break up needs to have the opportunity for each person to get their final thoughts/words out so make sure you let that happen. After that, let it be known that you need time away to not talk/communicate/see them.
Then, either hold yourself accountable for doing this or designate a friend you can rely on to hold you accountable. This means no texting, calling, Facebook stalking or IMing, and no Drive Bys!
3. Remove Reminders of the Relationship from your life
This is best to do about a week after the break up, maybe even sooner. For me, I do it immediately, but that's just how I work. Some people aren't ready in that time. Remove any and all reminders from view. This means, Clothes, Gifts, pictures, CDs, Facebook updates (hide them from your feed!), ANYTHING that reminds you of them or is theirs or from them.
4. Give yourself as fresh a start as possible
ONce you get that feeling...and you know when you get it.. where you literally sigh a huge sigh of relief and feel ready to move on from the Remorseful/crappy feeling stage - tell yourself it's a new day and a new beginning and make yourself believe it by making everything in your life fresh. Do this in a few simple ways:
- Wash your bed sheets so there's no leftover smells on the pillow he slept on
- clean your room, declutter your apartment, scrub your home
- Clean out your car and make it all shiny and dust - free inside , it'll put you in a better mood
- Clean up your desk at work or your work station
- Rearrange your room/apartment/home and redo your closet so you can see ALL your clothes and try some new outfits.
5. pamper yourself and enjoy YOU
Get a manicure or pedicure, get your hair done, go to a spa and get a massage, and schedule regular once a week dinners/drinks with your girlfriends. Celebrate you and your freedom
Trust me, they all have a big impact on your state of mind!
So...without further ado....I present to you...
the OFFICIAL Ask Away Guide to Surviving A Break Up in 5 "Easy" Steps.
And let's be honest....it's never easy, but if you keep telling yourself it is, it will get easier faster.
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| photo by Deadclown | via PhotoRee |
1. Separate Yourself
You need some time to decompress and separate yourself from the world in order to give yourself time to cope. So for some of us that means isolating ourselves because we can deal with it better alone. But for other's it means staying close to a friend for support. Make sure it's a friend who supports you but will ensure they hold you accountable for keeping the break up clean and not running back.
2. Hold Yourself (Or have a friend hold you) Accountable for NOT contacting them
Every break up needs to have the opportunity for each person to get their final thoughts/words out so make sure you let that happen. After that, let it be known that you need time away to not talk/communicate/see them.
Then, either hold yourself accountable for doing this or designate a friend you can rely on to hold you accountable. This means no texting, calling, Facebook stalking or IMing, and no Drive Bys!
3. Remove Reminders of the Relationship from your life
This is best to do about a week after the break up, maybe even sooner. For me, I do it immediately, but that's just how I work. Some people aren't ready in that time. Remove any and all reminders from view. This means, Clothes, Gifts, pictures, CDs, Facebook updates (hide them from your feed!), ANYTHING that reminds you of them or is theirs or from them.
4. Give yourself as fresh a start as possible
ONce you get that feeling...and you know when you get it.. where you literally sigh a huge sigh of relief and feel ready to move on from the Remorseful/crappy feeling stage - tell yourself it's a new day and a new beginning and make yourself believe it by making everything in your life fresh. Do this in a few simple ways:
- Wash your bed sheets so there's no leftover smells on the pillow he slept on
- clean your room, declutter your apartment, scrub your home
- Clean out your car and make it all shiny and dust - free inside , it'll put you in a better mood
- Clean up your desk at work or your work station
- Rearrange your room/apartment/home and redo your closet so you can see ALL your clothes and try some new outfits.
5. pamper yourself and enjoy YOU
Get a manicure or pedicure, get your hair done, go to a spa and get a massage, and schedule regular once a week dinners/drinks with your girlfriends. Celebrate you and your freedom
Trust me, they all have a big impact on your state of mind!
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