Online Dating Series: Part 2 - Etiquette

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

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For part 1 we covered how to get started with online dating and build a profile. Today, we will focus on Online Dating Etiquette!


Everyone gets rejected and it's just a part of life, however there is a right way and a wrong way. If someone contacts you and you aren't interested after the first message here is a good idea of how to respond:
"Thanks for the message, I appreciate it, however I don't feel like we would be a good fit. Best of luck to you."

If you exchange a few messages and get to know each other a bit and feel like you aren't a good match make sure you indicate that right away. Something along the lines of "It's been greating getting to know you but I'm sorry, I just don't feel like we would be compatible romantically. I wish you the best on here!"

"Getting to Know You" Messages

When you find someone that sparks an interest and you begin exchanging messages keep it simple and clean. Make sure you don't write a novel in your first few messages. And always repeat back what you were just told in the last message before responding to any questions. At the end, ask some new questions. Example: "Wow, that's awesome that you have been skydiving! I really like outdoor activities like snowboarding, camping, and hiking. Have you ever been camping? "

As for what you want to say if YOU are the one who reaches out first, try something that answers the questions:
What about them made you reach out
A basic fact about yourself
An opportunity for them to respond or not.
Example: Hey, I hope you don't mind me reaching out but I saw that you enjoy some of the stuff I do (kayaking, camping) and you seem really interesting. I would love to chat some more, if you are intested, but if not I understand and hope you have a great day!

Do's and Dont's of Asking Questions:

DON'T ask personal details right away like the name of their employer, neighborhood, etc.
DO ask basic details like the type of work they do, area they live, and daily activities.
DO ask what they are looking for and hope to get out of communicating with you.
DON'T give out your phone number until you are comfortable and plan to have a first date.
DON'T discuss dating past/sexual past
DO stand your ground if you aren't comfortable with a topic

Check back on Friday when we go over the final part of the online dating series - tips and tricks.


  1. Great advice! I've been happily married for 15 years and feel lucky to have found the right one. :)

  2. I met my husband on eHarmony 6 years ago and they have a feature where you can talk on the phone without giving out your number. But, I think it costs $5. My husband suggested going that route, but I told him I didn't mind giving him my # if that was why he suggested that. So, he just called my cell. So I haven't personally used that feature, but wanted to mention that it exists.


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