A List of Reasons Why I'm Not Having Children + What NOT to Say to People Like Me

Monday, July 28, 2014

Ha, fooled ya.. 

You see, I was intending to sit down and develop a whole list of reasons as to why I am not having kids in my lifetime.... 

And then I sat down...

And for the first time in my life I couldn't come up with a list of reasons for a blog post like I usually do.  In fact, over the years everytime I've been asked to explain why, I couldn't  think of a list of reasons.

Why not? Well, you see a list consists of multiple items, and my reason is simple and clear.   It's just ONE reason. 


That's all.  No need to explain.  You can't explain a feeling, an instinct, an energy...you just KNOW it and FEEL it.  I've known this was my decision ever since I was in Elementary School.   

I didn't like playing with dolls, I would toss them out of my stroller and put a stuffed animal in.   Then one time I said to my mom that I didn't really want to have kids someday and would rather just have a bunch of pets.  

I love kids, and I enjoy being around my friends' kids but I just don't choose to have them myself.   And I don't think there's anything wrong with that, or with anyone who wants to have kids. 

Speaking of lists though, I COULD come up with a list of things NOT to say in response to someone saying they don't want to have children.   Like...

You'll change your mind someday.//Don't tell me what my mind will do.
Wait till you get a little older. //Don't tell me how to live my life.
When you meet the right person that will change. //Oh so it all depends on who you meet and marry? Uhhh no.
Do you think you will feel fulfilled your whole life?// Do you think I'll feel fulfilled for punching you in the face?
Who will take care of you when you're old? // Why does it concern you?

All of those are none of your business and you should never ask someone those questions.  

You should also not say things like...

I can't imagine life without children. // What if I said I can't imagine life WITH children?)
You don't know what love is until you have a child. //Really? So you are telling me that I don't know what love is? How do you know that I don't know what love is?
You would be a great mom.// I'm also a great human, thanks.

So, there you have it.  My boyfriend feels the same way as I do and always has.  My parents respect my decision and have never once made me feel uncomfortable about it.   So I'm happy and that's all that matters.  
How do YOU respond when people ask you that question?

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  1. Great post. I have never understand why people even ask people about having kids. When I got married almost 10 year ago. The first question I got asked was when are you going to have kid.

    1. Yea, its like thats all ppl think can happen next after marriage lol

  2. I LOVE IT! Actually I ALWAYS wanted kids, but I didn't get married the first time until I was 40....then, when we got divorced and I married the second time he had grown kids and wanted NO MORE!!! I couldn't become pregnant anyway. Like you, I love EVERYONE else's kids but being around them I often cannot WAIT to get away from them lol. Having kids is NO guarantee they will look after someone when they are old either. I had so much fun screwing around when I was your age that my biological clock ran out and you know what? I'm fine with that. That's the card I was dealt and I probably have less headaches in the long run!

  3. THANK YOU, SISTER! CAN I GET AN AMEN! I'm 40 and still hear "You can always adopt". Really? Never thought I would look forward to menapause. Maybe it will stop then. And we already are a moms. They just have four legs. Four legs are better than two.

    1. haha awww yea girl we are def still mommas :) Glad u loved this post!


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