Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Is it Taboo to Talk to an Ex While in a Relationship?


photo by mercurialnvia PhotoRee

This is an interesting topic and I get a lot of advice questions about it... Is it taboo for friends to talk to an ex?   It all depends on many factors.

Friendship FactorHow close are you to the friend and how close are you to the ex?  If you hang out with the friend on a regular basis, I'd steer very clear of the ex, just because it's awkward and uncomfortable in the future.   If you were friends with both the ex and the friend long before they ever dated, then you can maintain a friendship but try to not blast it out in public, which could make either party uncomfortable in the weeks and months that follow.

How Bad of A Breakup? The next factor is how bad (or not bad) of a breakup it was.  Did it end in shoes being thrown and a huge huge sobfest?  If so, then you need to be there for your friend!  Even if it ended amicably, steer clear of the ex as much as you can in the weeks that follow.  Sometimes wounds are just too brutal in the beginning.

Why Bother?I have always wondered this myself, but why do people sometimes go out of their way to talk to a friend's ex?  Do they want to make you jealous, do they want to keep the peace, or do they just not think that far ahead?   When I have friends that go through break ups I just stay completely out of the ex's path.  If I happen to see that ex out and about, and he says Hi, I might wave or nod back, but I won't be striking up any conversations.  It's important to support your friends, and imagine what you would want them to do if the situation was reversed.

Basically...
When in doubt, steer clear, and keep yourself out of all the drama!

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