Why I Stopped Obsessing Over my Weight and How It’s Changed My Life

So like many women or even like many human beings, I spent the last decade or so of my life obsessing over my weight. No matter how good I looked back then (I look at pictures now and see how fit and healthy I was), at the time I always thought I needed to do more. I could never just see myself as perfect and beautiful. EVER. And let me tell you, that is EXHAUSTING and affects every aspect of life.

What do I eat, what do I make, what do I buy, should I be more active even though I’m tired? And every time I passed a full length mirror I always would stand there and analyze all parts of me and pick myself apart. But I suppose finally I’ve just had enough.

After looking at old photos of myself I realized that no matter what, if I didn’t just start accepting myself for how I look now, I will NEVER be satisfied. I’ll end up on my death bed as a little old lady scolding myself for not just enjoying the power and beauty of my youth, and my adult years. So this year, I just decided to stop it all together.

Of course I will still make healthy choices. I know I shouldn’t scarf down junk food, so I won’t buy it. I will take my regular walk breaks at work and stay active this Summer doing yard work. But I’m not doing it to reach a goal. I don’t care what the number on the scale says or how many calories I’ve consumed. I will still use my Fitbit because I like to see how much I’ve moved and on days when I’ve barely hit 2,000 it will give me a good excuse to go outside and explore.

I just no longer care to constantly try to make myself more like someone else or more up to what everyone seems to think I should be. Sure, my belly may be a little round, and I have a little extra jiggle when I move, but I’m healthy and I’m happy. Why should anything else matter? Why should I care if my shirts don’t look as flattering on me as the supermodels that walk down the runway. I will just dress how I want to dress to compliment my body regardless of how anyone else does it.

And let me tell you, this is LIBERATING! It feels so good to not care about a number on a scale. I look in the mirror now and I say wow look at my legs, they’re powerful. Look at my core, it nourishes me and I should love it. Look at my arms, they do so much. I don’t sit there and pick apart how many rolls I think I have or how unflattering a certain angle might be in a photo with friends. Why? Because it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I think now that I’m finally coming to peace with me exactly as I am at any given moment, it’s making me WANT to make healthier life choices because now there’s no pressure. For some reason the pressure was a turn off and made me more resistant.

I can’t sit here and explain to you how I came to be at peace with myself, but I can tell you that if you want to work on it, start doing research. Look things up online, read empowering books, and reflect on how you’ve felt about your body even at your best. I bet you’ll find that you’re your own worst critic.

Stay beautiful friends!

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