The Secret to Stop Fuming in a Relationship (or everyday life)

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

We’ve all been there….   Whether it’s in life or in a relationship…little things don’t go your way, or annoy you and over time they keep building up, then you explode, or you hold it in and it builds resentment.   As long as you are in a healthy relationship, the only time little things will bug you and start to build is if it’s silly problems that aren’t even worth being upset about.  I’m not talking about how your husband doesn’t clean up after himself…. That is definitely a problem that needs to be addressed, as I have discussed before when it comes to fighting in a relationship.  But what I am referring to is the simple things like :

“I can’t stand the way he walks, chews, etc.”
“He never hugs me goodbye anymore”
“He falls asleep so early”
And other silly things.   I call them silly because I have recently mastered how to never let anything small and silly (in relationships OR in life) make me annoyed and build up over time…

photo by Michael Sarvervia PhotoRee
So here is the one tip to remember in order to prevent FUMING in a relationship over something silly…


But how? Simple.. here’s a pretty straightforward way..  I don’t care if it seems like I’m “thinking of the worst” but sometimes you have to in order to gain perspective in life…
You let it go by asking yourself..
“ If my partner didn’t wake up tomorrow, would this have been worth being mad over for me or would I feel terrible forever.”

Some of you may know what this feels like, whether you lost a loved one, or it was just a pet that passed away.  Then you sit there and say “Man, I feel like a jerk that I yelled at the dog the other night for stealing my shoe and hiding it.  What a silly thing to get mad about! Now I feel so bad that I had scolded him days before this happened.”    Seriously, this may sound silly but it’s true… so here’s how it can apply to a human relationship…

You are in the car, and your boyfriend turns the radio to a station and it’s up loud and for some reason it irritates you.  Now, if it’s deafening, then maybe you SHOULD ask him to turn it down… but if you are just in a grumpy mood and notice yourself start thinking “What is his deal? Why does he have it up so loud? He’s so rude, he doesn’t even care about my feelings” (And trust me, I have had readers tell me that they get in moods just like this)… then all you have to do is STOP…and LET IT GO!   If something happened to your boyfriend tomorrow, would you regret this bad attitude you are about to give him simply because of the radio being up?   Is it worth it to even bring up and start a fight over?  Does life go on?  Yes!!  So let it go….. literally talk to yourself in your head and let yourself no that it’s really not worth it, and you should enjoy the ride and the music and the fact that you have a great guy in your life…

Just try it next time you are in any kind of situation where you start to get angry inside…. And then see if it helps you.  At first, it might take a few times, but eventually, you’ll see…. It will

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